I saw my dad today, for the first time in my life I was in one of those booths, where you talk on the phone and there is a glass window. My dad was wearing surgical mask because they have to until their TB tests come back clear. All I saw were his pale blue eyes which were tinted red from him not getting any sleep and crying. He was wearing bright orange and thankfully was not wearing any cuffs.
Kristle saw him and started bawling, but I would not let myself cry. I wanted my Daddy to see me strong. But unfortunately it threw me into an emotional mess. So I have spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV and sleeping.
I know that this is going to affect me more emotionally than I am letting on. My pastor keeps telling me to let the emotions out. That I need to get them out in order to heal. I know all of this. I am studying to be a Chaplain. I know the process of grieving, and of overcoming. But it does not mean I am going to allow myself to do it easily.
I just am scared that if I let myself get emotional about it, then who is going to be strong for my sister and mom?
I never thought my Dad would be incarcerated.
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